Feelings about leaving (in other words: a post you should skip because it's too sappy)

So, given that my last post was in February, it might seem kind of silly that I'm posting now. However, I've deemed it necessary because today is (basically) my last day in Bologna. I'm not sure if it's the impending doom of leaving that got me up at 7 this morning, or the deathly heat we've been having here for the last week.
Now that I've written that first paragraph I feel particularly stupid because (cliche warning) I really can't put these feelings into words. If this even makes it to my blog it will be a miracle. I'm just going to write down some dumb stuff and make you all read it.
Last year around this time I was packing up my dorm room in Chicago and saying goodbye to family and friends that I wouldn't see for a year. I remember how difficult I thought that was. Tosca and I sat for a long time on my dorm room floor, while she helped me clean up and pack so that we could extend our goodbye as long as possible. My friends gave me the world's coolest card (a page from a book with certain words circled that spelled out a message) and candy in the colors of the Italian flag. Both my parents came to the airport to send me off. My mom snuck a card into my suitcase which I didn't find until the day I moved into my apartment in Bologna. That was a complicated and confusing day and that was the day I needed her support the most. My little siblings diligently talked to me weekly over Skype even though, at age 4 and 3, I'm sure they have other things they'd rather be doing. My mom and brother came to visit me at Christmas, as did Hannah and Tosca at different points during the year. I received two folders worth of letters and postcards from friends and family over the course of this year, and I never ever stopped feeling the love from home. 
This might seem emotional and you're probably sick of reading it, but it's these amazing people and my good memories of them that are making it easier to know that I'm leaving Bologna tomorrow and Italy in a month (for anyone that doesn't know, I'm spending the next month working at a summer camp in Lake Como) Just quickly, to my friends and family back home: I know I like to pretend that I'm some world traveler without a true home and no strings attached, but that is totally just me putting on a brave face because I missed you guys this year more than you could possibly know. And I'm going to need you now more than ever because saying goodbye to the people here is a whole different beast.
Those goodbyes last year were difficult, yes, but also somewhat simple in the sense that most people I was leaving behind I would see again in 10 months, 11 months, a year. Leaving Bologna is weird because the time until I see these people again is completely undetermined and quite possibly infinite. So goodbyes are complicated, because what do you even say to all these people that became your family in less than a year? I feel like in the past I've said that I hate goodbyes because they are sad and I don't deal with sad very well (but who does?) This round of goodbyes is sad, sure, but it's also more complicated than just "goodbye, I'll miss you." I think that's an element of this experience that I didn't expect, and I'm sure lots of people can relate.
Last night my roommate said to me "sicuramente è un'esperienza che cambia la vita" (it's definitely a life-changing experience.) Countless other people have told me the same thing. I can't speak to that because I don't know if I'm changed. How does a person know if they've changed? I think all I know right now is that I got to live in a cool city for a year and meet amazing people and I'm so happy I got to do it. I'm lucky too, to be living in the 21st century, where computers and cellphones make communication just that much faster and the world is that much smaller (incidentally, the same technology is what allows me to spread my sappy thoughts worldwide via this blog.)
So yeah, I'm leaving, and a small part of me is devastated but a bigger part of me is just happy and grateful that I got to do this and then the biggest part of me is so freaking pumped for the future.
And you thought this was going to be a sad post.

Bologna, ti voglio proprio bene.
Arrivederci!